i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
