This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
