when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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