Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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