I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
