***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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