whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
