we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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