I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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