Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
