I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
