at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
