you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
