So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
