dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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