this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
