if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Randomize
