so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
