i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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