Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
