someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
