I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
