Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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