You really coming over, don't trick.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We have so much sex to catch up on
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize