i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
