the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
