This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
