i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
two words...techno handjob
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
