I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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