you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
