Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
