Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
