I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
