I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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