they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
