You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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