Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
