im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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