Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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