Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize