I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
