I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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