so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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