i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
