Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
