pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
