dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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