my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
