he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
