I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize