i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
