I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
