Plan B is the new Plan A
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You were trust falling into bushes
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
