i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize