If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
nutella sex= disaster
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
