Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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