i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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