How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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